Tag Archives: MTV

Heartbreaking Photo Of Real Life Catfish Caught On Camera

8 May

He said he was tall, slim, held a “leadership position” at work. He said he worked in law enforcement. When they talked on the phone, he had one of those voices that just made you feel safe, loved, relaxed. He sounded like the nicest man in the world. But sometimes, he would disappear. He wouldn’t be online, wouldn’t call or return texts for weeks at a time, like clockwork every couple years, but eventually he always got back to her, saying he was really busy “helping out his friend.” When she started getting suspicious she messaged his other Facebook friends. They had nothing but nice things to say about him. Worshiped him, she noticed. She understood. She was falling in love with him too. Finally a girl claiming to be his “sister,” Jessie, contacted her and said that he was ready to meet. They’d all be in New York for his sister’s upcoming wedding, to his best friend and that she should find the time to meet….IRL. It was now or never.

When she finally met him in Times Square, she realized she’d been toyed with all along.

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In Defense of Miley Cyrus: Part I – The Tongue

27 Aug

This is the first, in what may or may not be a multi-part “In Defense of Miley” oeuvre that I’ll keep adding to until people stop talking about it.

I mean really, I’ve never seen such mass hysteria over a pop star before…..geeze.

I didn’t watch the VMA’s Sunday night. I did, however, watch the video of Miley Cyrus’ performance. I had seen Facebook status after Facebook status, describing it as “disgusting,” “WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!?!?,” “I weep for our country,” “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore,” “If I was her mother…,” “Does Miley Cyrus actually think sticking her tongue out like that is attractive??!”

 That last one stopped me. Maybe it was the use of the word “attractive.” As a young woman with a penchant for blue humor and unbiased love for fart jokes, I heard crap like that all the time. “Oh…that’s attractive.” The sarcasm dripping off that word like it was melting. “Come on now Caitlin, that’s not very attractive…” as I aped a joke lifted from some boy who’d gotten primo laughs with it just the day before. I was just doing something I thought was fun or funny and a fart joke never killed anyone so I was (and still am) confused when I was chastised for not making myself attractive to people. Who am I supposed to be attracting? What if my whole goal was to be unattractive? Why is that such a bad thing? People do weird, gross shit for any number of reasons. I have a friend who cracks their knuckles all the time and a friend who loves to give people Wet Willies and another who can burp the alphabet. Sometimes, I enjoy timing my farts so they sound like my ass is talking to people or singing along to the Mario Brothers Theme Song (I don’t care what my Husband says, it’s f’ing hilarious). Miley sticks out her tongue. It’s just one of these things that we do.   

Hannah Montana circa 2008 or "Before She Was Scary."

Hannah Montana circa 2008 or “Before She Was Scary.”

And it’s not as if she came up with this horrifically offensive tongue wagging just to terrify you Sunday night and make you clutch your children and decry Miley as a Hypersexual Hell Beast From Crotchgrabia.

She’s a grown woman (some may argue that 20 does not a woman make, but that’s an entirely different argument) whose penchant for sticking out her tongue has become somewhat of a thing for her, putting on a show intended to freak people out and launch a thousand Tweets. What do you know? It worked.

 I’m pretty sure MC wasn’t trying to shock the world’s population in these pictures. Chances are, she was probably, “just bein’ Miley.”

  HOW DARE YOU!?!??!!? THERE’S A CHILD NEXT TO YOU! Wait…is that James Woods behind you?

 

If my tongue was that big I’d want to liberate it from its mouth cage too. Give her a break on the tongue thing, ok? Chillax.

You Slut.

You Slut.

To Be Continued…..in In Defense of Miley Cyrus: Part II – The Crotch Grab

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