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#Second City Karaoke – Competitive Karaoke?

6 May
Stop. Collaborate. And. Listen.

Stop. Collaborate. And. Listen.

I’ve signed up for Second City Karaoke – I can’t wait to tell you all about it. The seedy underbelly of Competitive Karaoke. Starts next week. There’s already drama. Shit’s gonna’ get real.

Stay tuned.

NOISY CRICKETS 4 LYFE.

 

I’m Helpful – Answers to Questions People Googled To Get Here.

16 Feb

I was checking C’mon Mr. Sunshine’s stats (that sounds dirty) and I was struck with how odd the list of search terms that poor, unsuspecting people in need of real answers to real questions used to end up at my blog.

I'm sorry you Googled this and ended up at my weird blog.

I’m sorry you Googled this and ended up at my weird blog.

My inner-humanitarian has decided to help them should they ever return.

We're very alike.

We’re very alike.

1.) The Amy Smart Walking Dead Confusion

amy smart walking dead
is amy smart on the walking dead

No. She isn’t. I think you think she’s Andrea. You’re wrong. You might think she’s Beth. Not that either. Maybe you think she was in the first season as Andrea’s sister Amy. No. I know you think she’s Andrea. Knock it off.

I honestly don’t think they look alike. There’s also about 10 years between them.

.

It would be nice, though, if Ashton Kutcher could take a look at some of the older Walking Dead scripts, get a nosebleed, and fix Andrea’s dumbassery.

.

 

2.) The Curious Attraction To Marky Mark’s Third Nip.

marky mark 3rd nipple
3rd nipple
marky mark third nipple
mark wahlberg third nipple
mark wahlberg third nipple pictures

I don’t know why you all are so excited about Wahlberg’s triple nip, but you are.

Here.

"Say hello to your Mother for me!"

“Say hello to your Mother for me!”

3.) Anatomy of a 2 Broke Girls Halloween Costume

2 broke girls costume
2 broke girls outfits
2 broke girls outfit
two broke girls kostüm
(Is that German?)

halloween 2 broke girls couple
diy 2 broke girls costume
2 broke girls latex
(What’s wrong with you?)

two broke girls latex (You too, buddy.)
two broke girls halloween costume

Step One: Find Reference Picture.

Step Two: Determine if you are a “Max” or you are a “Caroline.” (I’m Max. Duh.)

Step Three: Go Shopping – Dress. Ribbon. Apron. Hair. Giant Safety Pins. Name Tags. Boots.

Step Four: Make your apron. Glue the ribbon to your dress with this. Style the wig. Add accessories.

Step Five: Find friends to join you. Now, relax, have fun and bask in your glory. 

2 Broke Girls Oleg Costume2brokemaxandcarolinecostumesmax and caroline costume halloween*My “Caroline” made her necklace with big plastic pearls, gold chain, and these things.

Look. Copy. Win.

4.) Miscellaneous Helpfulness.

  • sometimes i like to meme

That’s ok. Sometimes I do too.

  • what can i make with finished cross stitch

I don’t know. I Google it almost everyday. If you find something, let me know.

  • what was the costume with the crows worn by darlene in roseanne about

She was dressed a Tippi Hedren’s character in The Birds.

See?

  • the walking dead andrea is an idiot

Yes. She is.

  • how to do a collage on pixlromatic
  • pixlr-o-matic add text
  • how to add text with pixlr-o-matic?

You can’t. Download PicsArt.

  • what does it mean if i cant stop drawing roses

It means you really like drawing roses.

the walking dead what if daryl dies

You’ll be fine. Although, I hear there are talks of a riot.

  • stupid andrea walking dead

Yes. She is.

  • pic of clown saying happy birthday meagan

That’s weird and strangely specific and I have no clue how you even got here…however…

HAPPYBIRTHDAYMEAGAN


What I Did Over My Summer Vacation…

10 Jul

Hello Friends! I’m back, but currently out of action. Had a fantastic time with Family Weber and am sickly. Here’s a sneak peek at what we spent one of our days doing…

Is that a vagina on your face or are you just happy to see me?

She Came Back.

Vacation is Nigh.

30 Jun

My dearest Intermittant Readers,

Don’t fret, I love you all terribly, but life has reared its ugly head. However, I’m off to a fabulous vacation to see Bestie Cori and the rest of the Webs clan….mayhaps there will be blogging time hidden amongst the Kanasas fun.

Mayhaps.

Here’s some pretty pictures I’ve taken in the past few months for you to look at.

I like your face.

Keep Calm And Carry Your Head.

Terrifying & Delicious live here.
I’m half crazy…all for the love of you.
Best. Plate. Ever.
It’s better with wine.
Low Men In Yellow Coats.

Cured meats for all!

 

Conquest of the Universe or When Queens Collide – the video “sneak peek!”

14 May

Click the link to see KJack sing his face off.

🙂

http://www.facebook.com/v/10150918080190813

 

Why hello there.

The Universe Is Communicating With Me Via Blog Stats.

1 May

We all know that our brains find patterns in things. We connect seemingly random happenings and coincidences into grand scenarios of meaning. I’m not sure why we do this. Maybe to reassure ourselves that there’s some meaning to this f’d up world, that we’re not just sitting idly by, blind to what happens to us or where the day takes us. If we can see enough of these connections then maybe we can use them to control our destinies. Maybe if we just look hard enough, we can save lives….just like Kiefer Sutherland. Maybe.

So, this happened.

My blog stats are talking to me. I can keep going...5+6=11, 21+26=47, 4+7=11

I could do this shit all day.

This is what my brain does almost constantly.

I see “omens.” If I audition for The Crucible, that night Daniel Day Lewis shows up at my house it’s on TV. When I was planning my wedding, every TV show and song on the radio was about a damn wedding. When your period is late, every commercial you see if for baby crap.

You never noticed? Well, congrats, you probably will now. 

You’re welcome.

So just what was Come On, Mr. Sunshine trying to tell me on Friday?

Well, it could be a number (pun intended) of things:

  • Maybe it really wants me to enjoy the sweet sound of R.E.M. and Nirvana as both “Man on the Moon” and “Lithium” have 56 “yeahs” in them. 
  • It’s telling me that I’m destined to play Marilyn Monroe in Bombshell because Joe DiMaggio had a base hit in 56 consecutive games with the Yankees in 1941.
  • It thinks I’m adorable and is connecting that to the fact that apparently Shirley Temple wore exactly 56 curls in her hair.
  • My blog admires my independence and as there were 56 signatures on the Declaration of Independence in 1776.
  • It’s warning me of some sort of Apocalyptic disaster by alerting me to pay attention to Aristole’s theory that there are 56 layers of the Universe.
  • Then there’s all this crap about the Aubrey holes at Stonehenge.

I guess we’ll never know…

All of the information above came from Wikipedia, because I’m lazy.

These are 56 voyages of the Starship Enterprise…

27 Apr

Have you seen this?

I watched 27 seconds of it and had to stop.

Sometimes I sit and think about a “perfect world.” This “perfect world” usually consists of an extremely comfortable couch, Spike, KJack & a wall of TV’s.

However, because it’s “perfect,” there’s volume control.

Otherwise, this is awesome.

Coming Attractions:

How To Make A Wig!!

(That looks like the Heat Miser’s hair, but is really a Fire Woman wig for Conquest….)

I miss you…

12 Apr

Remember when I used to blog? That was cool, right?

Well, I thought so at least. But, alas, my time has been the victim to the ultimate suckage; Theatre.

I just want you to know I miss you all.

I miss writing snippets of crap you don’t care that much about.

Tis the fault of the stage.

I’ll be back….soon….I promise.

This is what I’ve been doing…

I made all these images with apps on my phone.

I freaking love my phone.

My First Fundraiser – 80’s Trivia is rad.

5 Apr

Next Friday I’m gonna’ host an 80’s trivia night as a fundraiser…FUNdraiser if you will….for my Theatre Company.

I have no clue if I’m going to pull it off, but a girl’s gotta’ try right?

I don’t have boatloads of experience with this, in fact, I have none. I like trivia though so that should totally help, right? Hmm…I guess we’ll see.

So if anyone happens upon this post and would like to donate prizes for the event, or would like to join us for some sweet ass 80’s trivia, please let me know!

Here are some 80’s Youtubes to get you in the mood.

Blog! From Blammo!

2 Apr

Sometimes my brain is teeming with blog post ideas. Sometimes it’s not.

 Recently, it’s been more often not.

 Maybe it’s due to the fact that currently, I’m preoccupied with rehearsals and line learning and trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to sing Disco Inferno and Blondie’s Maria while dressed in a burlap sack and itchy wig while looking cool and without vomiting. I’ve been an actor for 25 years and I still am overwhelmed with paranoia and nerves for the entire process leading up to opening night. One would think this would deter me from this whole “theatre thing,” but apparently I’m a masochist. I’m generally paranoid and terrified much of my day anyway, so no big.

 Since I’ve neglected my little blog here I felt oh so terrible for you, my Intermittent Readers, and felt that I must post something brilliant today to satiate you for at least 3 days until my next post.

 I Googled “blog post ideas.”

 I’m sorry, but I did. I’m grossed out that I even did this because why even write a blog if you can’t organically generate your own content. Why write if you have nothing to say? It’s not as if I’m Perez Hilton and legions of teenagers will crumble if they’re not getting a constant deluge of pictures of giant pregnant Jessica Simpson. I’m just some gal who occasionally posts mildly funny things and then repeatedly screams at her friends, “WHY AREN’T YOU READING MY BLOG?!” I love that there are a few of you out there that genuinely seem to enjoy some of my postings and I feel guilty when I can’t provide you with hilarious and timely content and it’s for you that I sunk so low as to find myself here: The Blog Post Generator

 But WAIT! SURPRISE TWIST ENDING…there is an endless sea of hilarity to be found here!!!

 All one is to do is click “Create” and then take whatever topical and thought provoking “idea” this generator generates and head back over to your blog and prepare to be Freshly Pressed.

Let’s explore:

The plot was decent, but it left me hungry for more.

James Taylor? That British band I've never heard of and only found through Google? James Cagney?

Number 1: It's not General Hospital.

This one is actually pretty good. Buffy is "one of my favorites." It's my favorite TV show, my favorite color and my favorite food. It is NOT my favorite movie.

That it's no longer on the air?

Yogurt or yoghurt (other spellings listed below; US: /ˈjoʊɡərt/, UK: /ˈjɒɡət/) is a dairy product produced by bacterial fermentation of milk."
Done.

If I used this idea, would I just put the question out there and hope my readers provide me with the information about curling I so desperately desire?

Remember when Jerry Van Dyke was the Big Lots spokesperson? That was a match made in Heaven, don't ya' think?

I don't.

You know, it's stuff like this that gets Bloggers stereotyped on TV shows like The Office.

I mean, Jerry and his Big Lots commercials I can handle, but Dick Van Dyke and his crime solving?!!? I just can't DEAL WITH THAT!!!!!

oh my.

It was at this point that I called it quits, because hitting that “create” button one too many times apparently calls forth an evil that I was not prepared for.

So that ends my adventure with a blog post generator. I will never Google “blog post ideas” ever again and I will just accept the fact that some days, I’m just going to be unable to bring the funny.

One thing that did come out of this though is the giant list of topics I will now inevitably blog about:


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