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Wednesdays Are For Comics: “Star Trek: The Next Generation/Doctor Who-Assimilation2 #6”

7 Nov

KJack’s Back.

Star Trek: The Next Generation/ Doctor Who Assimilation #6

Written by Scott & David Tipton

Art by Gordon Purcell and J.K. Woodward

Reviewed by KJack


                Nerdgasm. That’s what I call this issue. If you’re a fan of either Star Trek or Doctor Who, and you’re not reading this book, obviously you’re missing out. It’s rare that the popular fan-boy debate about villain vs. villain from a different property actually sees the light of publication, but it’s even rarer still that it’s given such a high quality treatment.

The Tipton brothers have definitely thought about the question: “Who would win a war between The Borg and The Cybermen?” more than maybe anyone should. (That’s a compliment) Not only do they flesh this battle out better than I ever expected a comic book writer could, but they expertly factor in the crazy variables that are The Doctor, Captain Picard, and any companions/crew that might be helping them. The back and forth between the crews of the TARDIS and the Enterprise, the explanations of how the Borg and Cybermen interact, and the attempts to time travel and mess with Picard’s past, all make this one of this week’s most entertaining comics by far. The painted art is beautiful at times and is always true to the characters that we’ve come to know and love. It’s the writing of these characters and their wonderfully complicated circumstances, however, that make this book so enjoyable.

CJack couldn’t let a post go by without using her stupid apps to make a picture.

4 out of 5 POWS!!

The ABC’s of the Zombie Apocalypse – C is for CONSEQUENCE (Part I)

25 Oct

**Contains all the spoilers for all The Walking Dead**

We’re days away from the season 3 premier episode 3 of The Walking Dead on AMC. It’s been almost 7 months since we left Rick and the rest of the survivors and I didn’t know how much I missed them until I started re-watching the series today 3 weeks ago. Like, really…really missed them. Mostly just Rick though…the others are a big batch of annoying that just seem to make Rick’s life difficult if you ask me.

Anyhoo…the premier of the new TWD season coupled with the impending arrival of Halloween and the fact that I haven’t written anything in what feels like a bajillion years has led me to this, the third entry in………

The ABC’s of The Zombie Apocalypse:

C is for Consequence!

“C” became “Consequence” because of another “C,” Carl.  Who I may have called by another “C” word often during Season 2, but I digress…

Here’s my Carl conundrum; His pre-teen douchbaggary is 100% responsible for killing Dale. 100%. He made a very specific choice to act like an asshole. His decision to throw rocks at the Stuck-in-the-Mud-Walker followed by his inability to kill said walker led to Dale’s death.

It’s like Alien Vs. Predator, but with more facial hair and elderly man-sass.

I’m not going to fault him for freaking out once the walker started to get loose and being unable to take it down. He’s a kid. I get it, but he failed to foresee any consequences to his actions and that’s why Dale’s dead. If, instead of completely ignoring Carl and then spending obscene amounts of time looking for him once he fucked off somewhere, Lori and the rest of the gang had been teaching him valuable lessons in cause & effect, perhaps Dale would be alive and still be competing with Hershel for the “Wise Old Guy” position of the group. A few conversations about logic would have been more beneficial than Shane’s how-to-catch-frogs tutorial. 

Now, let’s walk through this particular scenario:


Boy sees restrained Walker.

Boy has 3 choices:

  1. Kill walker
  2. Alert a sane adult (there’s got to be a few around here somewhere, right?) or….

Now to explore the consequences of the only three viable options:

Comic Book Carl doesn’t fuck around.

1. Kill walker – Carl has a gun. He’s seen how they’re used and practiced shooting. The walker is restrained and stationary. It’s a perfect opportunity to man-up and take the opportunity to face what it’s going to be like to kill something. You know you’re going to have to do it eventually, kid, and here you have one wrapped up in a nice neat meat bow just for you.

CONSEQUENCE: Walker’s no longer a threat. Self satisfaction in eliminating the threat on your own. Mental & physical preparation for a necessary and vital act you’ll need to perform nearly everyday of the rest of your life while living during the Zombie Apocalypse.

2. Alert Sane* Adult – You’re still a hero kid! Go tell Rick! Dale! Daryl! Glenn! T-Dog! (Poor T-Dog, one would think “Where’s T-Dog?” would be just as common an inquiry as “Where’s Carl?”)

They always make T-Dog take the picture.

CONSEQUENCE: Sane adult kills walker and identifies this area of the woods as un-explored and potentially dangerous leading to a sweep of the area and the potential elimination of more walkers.


*It would be counter-productive to go to one of the batshit crazy survivors like Shane, Lori, Andrea or Hershel because you can’t predict the actions of crazy people and the whole point of this exercise is to logically predict the consequences of various reactions to a problem and then choose the safest, most helpful course of action that does not, in any way, end with Dale being disemboweled.

I thought an Instagram filter would make him look more like a douche. I was right.

3. Throw Rocks At It –Instead of reveling in the luck that you’ve stumbled upon a vicious killing machine that is paying zero attention to you and is unable to move, you start chucking rocks at it. While this is a brave and valiant choice when attempting to lure a walker away from its intended victim, it’s pure dumbass douchieness to do this in any other situation.

CONSEQUENCE: Walker is annoyed. Walker now smells food. Walker has all the time in the world to work his way out of his mud prison and follow that smell to food source, i.e. your friends and family. Eats Dale.

Close enough.

This post was of epic length and my lunch break is almost over….stay tuned for Part II where I get all philosophical about more crap that isn’t real.

To be continued….

This has nothing to do with the actual post, but contains the words “stay tuned” and is a fantastic movie.

Wednesdays Are For Comics…Even Though It’s Thursday: Darwyn Cooke’s “Before Watchmen Minutemen #1”

7 Jun

Once upon a time, in a blogosphere far, far away, CJack provided you, her Intermittent Readers, with tales of Pop Culture and KJack’s comic book reviews on a mostly regular basis. In recent months, this hasn’t been the case, but thanks to KJack’s insomnia and CJack’s lunch break, we bring you back the the days of yore with a belated edition of…

Before Watchmen: Minutemen #1

By Darwyn Cooke

Reviewed by Kirk Jackson

Kicking off the entire Before Watchman opus is this single issue about the “golden age” of costumed crime-fighting set in Alan Moore’s seminal Watchmen universe. I must admit, like many, I was a little wary before I read this issue. I’m not from the camp that considers Watchmen too sacred to ever be touched by non-Moore hands, but I love the original just as much as anyone and never want to see mediocre versions of it. My fears melted away however as I took in the very first pages. Right away I could tell by the sequence of different images formed by very similar, circular shapes that Cooke was going to waste no time paying tribute to David Gibbon’s art. Cooke’s style in general is perfect for the pulpy feel of the Minutemen book, but he outdoes himself as he adjusts his style on every page to fit the mood and tone of each Minutemen character. The Moth Man sequence for instance is very dark, ominous, and serious, while Dollar Bill has a colorful almost cartoony commercial appearance. I was further comforted by the familiar visage of Hollis Mason, the original Night Owl, as he’s shown just finishing his book, “Under the Hood.” Like in Watchmen, this book is narrated from within by its own characters. Mason relates the story as he had written it in his book, and introduces each Minuteman one by one. With the benefit of hindsight, he is able to describe them all with accuracy and depth, and this makes for a wonderfully character driven comic.  The action sequences are exciting, the dialogue spot on, and the portrayal of each character has me hanging on to every word. All in all this is an amazing start to what should be the most rewarding comic event of the year!


Comics, Costumes & More Awkward Celebrity Encounters: Our Adventure at C2E2, 2012

18 Apr

Hey…wanna’ know what I did this weekend? No?


It was the third annual Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo (C2E2) at McCormick Place – I got my groovy Stephen King tattoo back in 2010 at the first one.

C2E2, 2010: Check out Kelly Rogers at Gearhead Tattoo! Hurray!

The second year I went by myself and wandered aimlessly for about 3 hours before coming home with only a  leather diary thing that I still haven’t given to its intended recipient. Sorry Cori.

This year, however, was pretty f’ing decent if I do say so myself. KJack and I had to wait until Sunday to go which is usually the shittiest of days to attend a Con, but this year it was badass!

We're Grimey.

He's not in the house.

KJack wore his Rick Grimes Halloween costume and because I knew that a full zombie face make-up was gauranteed to have me itchy and irritated by noon, I opted to dress as Lori (which consisted of wearing clothes I already had and rolling my jeans up too high while screaming “Where’s Carl!??!” all day) instead of the Little Zombie Girl.

Last I heard, he was in the house.

The Con started at 10am and in classic K&CJack form we got there an hour later…whatevs, time means nothing to the nerdy.

Kirk immediately stopped at a t-shirt booth where we got matching Game of Thrones shirts for House Targaryen. I’m now immediately irritated because I need to look at everything first before I start deciding to spend money and I’m incapable of stopping at booths with pushy salespeople without buying something. God love ’em, WWF Wrestler Virgil is $25 richer due to the stellar combination of KJack stopping every time someone talks to him and my desire to just buy something so they’ll let me go away.

You win. Here's $25.

As my Mother has an unhealthy love for John Barrowman and because I’m an awesome daughter, I stood in line for an hour and a half to get her his autograph. I don’t generally do autographs as I feel like a goon once I get up there and I have no clue what I’ll do with them once I have them and also, because I’m of the assumption that they’ll want my autograph in a few years anyway so we may as well do an even swap then, but stood in line I did.

I've never seen more people dressed like a phone booth in my entire life.

Who knows where the hell KJack went while I was playing Draw Something and Words With Friends…maybe he was looking for Carl.

I did finally make it up to Barrowman, who seemed to loose interest in me when I said “Can you sign this for my Mom?” He was nice and all, but it felt like a Rex Manning moment and I think he thought I was some douchebag who didn’t care about him. He’s so wrong. I love him. Even if he was slightly bitchy…hell, I love him BECAUSE he’s slightly bitchy. There was a group of four chicks in their 50’s ahead of me that were wearing t-shirts that said BARROWLAND BRIGADE. I don’t know what it is about middle aged women and adorable gay men, but they were pretty stoked.

I wanted to tell him that The Making of Me was the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen, that he was totally at the top of the “Celebrities That Could Come To My BBQ” list, that I think he’s probably one of the kindest, most decent people on Earth, that I’d give my left tit to sing just one verse of one song with him!! Instead, I asked him “How he was holding up” and said “My Mom loves you…we all love you.”

Then KJack took our picture and I ran away.

Pay no attention to the man behind the Time Agent.

While in line I caught glimpses of Nicky Brendon to the left and Val Kilmer  a table to the right.

I don't know where he went...the house, maybe?

I was on Buffy...remember Buffy?









I do love an Awkward Celebrity Encounter.

Moving on…

From there we hit Artist Alley where KJack geeked out all over Eric Powell and while he totally wanted to buy something of his, most everything was sold out and all Powell had left was a book full of fucking awesome giant panels for hundreds of dollars. I suggested KJack start blowing people near the bathrooms and then perhaps we could come back for some sweetass artwork….that didn’t pan out.

It was here we had our Virgil moment and after trying to walk away 6 times we finally succeeded when the guy at the table next to him gave me a flyer for something…I wish I could remember what he was promoting because I owe him my life.

Then we ran into a guy Kirk went to High School with, Steve Gadlin, who was selling cat drawings. Apparently this dude’s a genius because he went on Shark Tank with this idea and Mark Cuban gave him a shitload of money. He’s hilarious. Go. Check him out at I Want To Draw A Cat For You! I’m going to insist he become our new Best Friend. I’m quite sure he won’t mind.

At this point my feet hurt and I’ve looked everywhere for Carl, but to no avail.

Not Carl.

Quite a few people stopped KJack for his picture but very few got that I was supposed to be Lori. This may have been due to the fact that I look too…shall we say…well-fed. I’ve searched through thousands of pictures from Sunday, but I can’t find me anywhere! At least three people took pity on me and let me be in Rick’s picture, but they clearly don’t post to Flickr.


.I took one picture with one dude in costume and it. was. divine. I love you, Guy-Dressed-As-DJ-Lance-Rock.

.So that was C2E2 2012. We got a bunch of crap and had a great time. My feet tried to kill me and I refused to take public transportation home. A $30 cab ride later and we were home.

PICTURED: JB & V's autographs, California Raisins, Muppet Caper McDonald's glass, Gremlin book and audio record, 90210 "big button," Married With Children game, All In The Family game, NBC Trivia game, Shaolin Cowboy comic, Crossed comic, 2 Game of Thrones t-shirts, 1 Shining t-shirt, 1 Firefly t-shirt, Mal's replica hand gun, Tony Moore Rick Grimes autographed print, Dynamite Magazine and four Janet Lee prints. NOT PICTURED: Carl.

Wednesdays Are For Comics: “The Boys #65” by Garth Ennis

4 Apr

The Boys #65

COVER ARTIST: Darick Robertson

By Garth Ennis

Art by Russ Braun,

John McCrea,

& Keith Burns

Reviewed by KJack

Basically, I’m writing this review to let everyone know that the wait is over! After 64 issues of spying, political maneuvering, blackmailing, threatening, and just white-hot-hating the Homelander , the Butcher  finally comes face to face with his wife’s killer. It wouldn’t be a proper Garth Ennis production, however, if it just went down in a straight forward fashion. There’s a twist thrown in and the Boys all race to figure it out in time to keep the Butcher from missing the last piece of the Vought puzzle. 

I won’t spoil it for you, but I will tell you that it goes down spectacularly. By flipping back and forth between Butcher’s showdown and the one the Armed Forces have with the “Superheros,” Garth has given us a truly epic last battle. It has all the blood, violence, heroics, and horrible “superhero” deaths that this series has been promising all along. We’re also treated to the art of all the great artists this series has depended on. Trading off scenes, it only seems right that Braun, McCrea, and Burns are all in it together for this big, awesome climax. Furthermore, it is only fitting that the issue is a special 36 pager with a slightly higher price tag.

Don’t miss this issue folks, or you’ll be missing out! If you’ve fallen behind, now is the time to catch up, because the payoff is finally within your grasp!

I give 5 POWS, and hearty thank you to  the entire Boys creative team!

Wednesdays Are For Comics: Mark Millar’s “Kick-Ass 2 #7”

21 Mar

Kick-Ass 2 #7

By Mark Millar

Art by John Romita Jr.

Reviewed by KJack

It’s the big showdown we’ve been waiting for folks, as Kick-Ass and his fellow heroes face down The Mother-F%$ker and his army of hired goons. The real conflict however, is not hero vs. villain, but fantasy vs. reality.  Each of the people wearing costumes imagines that he or she is living out the great comic book dream. They imagine they are, in actuality, superheroes. However, reality comes storming in….in the form of the entire New York Police Department. Yes, the police are better trained and better armed, but more importantly, they don’t care how any of the fighters label themselves. To the police, all of it – the violence, the vandalism, the public nuisance, and the vigilante justice – is highly illegal. They can’t even tell which costumes belong to the “good guys” and which belong to the “evildoers”. What the cops feel they have to stop is just one big riot.

 There are two individuals, however, who do not operate under any illusions. Both Hit-Girl, and the Hired assassin known as Mother Russia know exactly what their realities are.  Hit Girl has been trained her entire young life to think and operate as a crime fighter. It’s the only reality she knows. To her: one sees injustice, and one acts to stop it – there is no other way. Mother Russia on the other hand is the product of a life of harsh realities. She is a professional fighter and killer and an almost impossible opponent for any 10 year old girl. More than anything else, the fight between these two represents the clash between the real world and the vigilante ideal.

 As can be expected, the outcome is not all happiness and congratulations. More than any other issue of Kick-Ass, #7 smacks our protagonists in the face and makes both characters and readers alike question what it takes to make difference and what it means to be a hero.

 Millar and Romita Jr. do it again with a stunning issue I feel deserves a full 5 POWS!

Wednesday Are For Comics: Brian K. Vaughan & Fiona Staples’ “Saga #1”

14 Mar

Hey….guess what?

It’s Wednesday. And you know what Wednesdays are for, right?

BUT! Before we get to KJack’s review of “Saga #1” I must share with you something. Back, all those weeks ago, when I first started this blog, I mentioned that my main comic addiction was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There will eventually be in-depth discussions of BtVS here at Come On, Mr. Sunshine, but for now I will only say this; I love Spike. I named my dog after him. I have a statue of him in my craft corner. One of the hottest television moments of all time was in Season Six of Buffy when they literally made sweet, sweet love to each other until the house fell down. Hottie McHotterson. Anyhoo…KJack brought me my new comics last night and I gots my new Locke & Key and my new Buffy… and (I promise not to spoil anything here, but HOLY CRAP YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE WHAT’S HAPPENING IN THE BUFFY-VERSE LATELY!!!!!!) this is the cover of the long-awaited #7 issue of Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 9.

Just two normal kids, chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool.

I love them.

Enough of your bullshiz, CJack! We don’t come here on Wednesdays to listen to you talk about crap! We come here for KJack’s reviews, dammit!!!

ugh, fine.

Saga: Chapter One

By Brian K. Vaughan
Art by Fiona Staples
Reviewed by Kirk (KJack)
What I believe we have here is the start of a truly epic tale.
We begin with the actual beginning of our main character’s story, seeing as how the very first scene is that of her birth. The man and woman standing so picturesquely on the cover are not the main characters of this tale at all, but rather, her parents and we don’t lose sight of them either, nor do we skip forward to a time when our protagonist is a bit older and can carry the story on her own. We follow the trials and adventures of these parents (and therefore our newborn hero) beginning mere seconds after her birth.
How do I know then, that the real protagonist is the infant? Well, we’re given a tour guide, a narrator that leads us through these events, gives us the background, and sets the stage. The narrator tells us, through disembodied floating captions, that its parents were not only on opposite sides of a galactic war, but were different species as well. She tells us that her parents were meant to be no more than guard and prisoner, were never supposed to fall in love, and definitely were not supposed to give birth her.
But marry and give birth they did, and apparently the trials and tribulations they go through to keep their baby alive (long enough to narrate this saga) are just too good to be skipped over. 
So, since this child ages maybe about 1 day in the course of this first issue, I assume we’re in for quite the long haul. This book is indeed a Saga and that’s a good thing! The epic title, however, isn’t the only clue that we can look forward to a nice long story. The characters and dialogue seem real, vital, and even witty. The details of the galaxy that surrounds them are strange and cool. Already in this issue I’ve seen amazing technology (in the form of fornicating robots), fabulous creatures (and a monkey!), and casually-weilded-but-powerful magic.
And I love the art by Fiona Staples! She has a way with body language that breaths life into these characters and the things they’re communicating to each other. 
Now, I know this isn’t the creator’s fault, rather a necessary evil of the medium, but the only real downside to this issue, is how far it doesn’t advance. Like so many other #1  issues, I’ve only been given enough to whet my appetite, and can’t yet see the true scope of where I’m sure Vaughan is going with this, but all in all, this book was well named and frankly, I’m excited! I will definitely be here for issue #2 when the saga continues.

Until then, I’ll give the first issue 4 POWS!




CJack’s Note: Ummm…I wasn’t really planning on adding any more comics to my “pull list,” but this sounds freaking RAD! Damn you!

Wednesdays Are For Comics: Jonathan Hickman’s “The Manhattan Projects #1”

7 Mar

Last night, instead of writing the intro to today’s comic book review, I ate half a Little Caesar’s pizza, an entire bag of popcorn and drank a whole bottle of Barefoot Merlot. I then moved from the couch to the bed and welcomed death.

As I did, in fact, survive the night, here we are at Wednesday…and if you didn’t know by now…

Manhattan Projects #1
Story by Jonathan Hickman – Art by: Nick Pitarra & Cris Peter

Reviewed by Kirk (KJack)

How many of you out there are lovers of historical science fiction? Well then, how many of you love a good psychotic killer? If you raised your hand to either question, Mr. Jonathan Hickman has a treat in store for you!

As the name suggests, this story uses as its setting the World War 2 era scientific project that gave us the very first Atom Bomb. In Hickman’s twisted version of history however, the Manhattan Project not only won the atomic race for America, but also served as a cover for the weirdest of weird science experiments known to man. This is why the name of our comic is pluralized: there are many projects that comprise the “Manhattan Project,” all of which are as ambitious as the one meant to produce “the bomb”.

Imagine then, the man brilliant enough to oversee such a project. Enter Robert Oppenheimer, the co-father (with Enrico Fermi) of the Atomic Bomb. Then imagine for a second that this man had a mentally unstable twin brother. Now perhaps you can realize the implications.

The layouts Hickman and Pitarra give us read like a simple cause-effect analysis of a situation with the most dire consequences possible. The layouts are even and symmetrical, designed to read like a disaster preparedness manual. The matter of fact presentation of the events as they unfold make them all the more chilling.

Pitarra’s pencils bring the detail and texture one has come to expect of artists such as Frank Quietly and Chris Burnham. His facial expressions are dynamic and his action scenes, exciting. Perhaps some of his figures could be a bit cleaner, but honestly, I feel they would lose a lot of character for it.

All in all, the Manhattan Projects is the best kind of historical fiction. It re-imagines historical events in a way that makes us re-examine those events from a fresh perspective. Sure, we came out ok on the other side of the atomic age, but just how lucky were we to avoid disaster?

I’m eager to see how Hickman’s history answers that question!

I’ll give this book 4 POWS!

Wednesdays Are For Comics: Joe Hill’s The Cape #4

29 Feb

The Wednesday comic book review isn’t really my gig, but before we get to KJack’s review, I would like to share with you, my Intermittent Readers (King’s are “Constant,”  but I’m not quite there yet), a little pre-review tale. Today’s comic is written by Joe Hill. Joe Hill is a BRILLIANT author. His book Heart Shaped Box was divine and I recommend it to horror fans, rock & roll fans, lovers of dogs (although it’s going to be a bit of a tough read, kids) and people with a fascination for the macabre doings of the twisted families we (hopefully) only read about in books…books like this. Since this isn’t a book review, I’ll leave it at this, look up this man’s work. You will thank me. If you’re a Horror/Genre fan but you’ve never considered graphic novels, please, PLEASE go and get the collections of Locke & Key. At one point they filmed a pilot that was going to be sold to FOX, but the studio backed out because they’re either scared of pure unadulterated awesome or they’re idiots.

It would be ridiculous and somewhat shady of me if I didn’t admit that I did not find Joe Hill’s work by accident. While I admire Hill based entirely on his own merits, I found out about him through my love for his father, Stephen King.

I’m a massive King fan (I even have an SK tattoo,  but that’s a whole other post) from as far back as I can remember and while I’d like to tell you all about why Stephen King is the very best author to ever walk the land, today is about Joe. Mr. Hill, who deserves just as much respect and acclaim as his slightly more famous father. Enough from me…Wednesdays aren’t for novels and tv shows with CJack…


by Jason Ciaramella

Artists; Zach Howard & Nelson Daniel

Review by Kirk (KJack)

Before I get started, it’s extremely important that I point something out. This book has absolutely nothing to do with the TV show by the same name. Perhaps you remember that unfortunate piece of television that aired in January, 2011, wasted the talents of Summer Glau, and thoroughly disappointed everyone. Unlike that bad slice of airwave cheese, this comic is serious, and starkly beautiful in it’s simplicity. It also includes zero circus performers.

This is the final part of a 4 issue mini-series (plus 1 one-shot), bringing this story to an end worthy of any great Greek tragedy. Powered by Zach Howard’s textured and nuanced pencils. Ciaramella and Hill have fashioned a tidy little tale that ends as suddenly as the prequel issue woke everyone up.

Yet, there is nothing forced about the ending. On the contrary, I would hold this book up as a prime example of writing that allows its characters to go and end where they need instead of being forced to go where they should. The ending may be quick, but it stays organic throughout – and that says a lot for a story centering around a man who gains the ability to fly from his childhood blanket. I can’t imagine how tempting it must have been to prolong the story (by delving into the history of the blanket, for example) but by avoiding such digression, the story stays focused on its main theme: How dangerous the simple power of flight would be in the wrong hands.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love superhero stories. I’m the first to dive into a comic book that depicts Superman throwing things that are too heavy for elephants to lift. But every now and then, I like to see a take on superpowers that doesn’t involve cartoon physics. The randomness with which our favorite comic book characters receive their powers is in reality the most dangerous thing about such fantasies. Enter our main character Eric. He has none of the qualities that make a hero a “hero.” He’s is not well adjusted, brave, kind, patient, nor is he responsible. He carries a lot of pain from his childhood which he blames on everyone but himself. He is the last person one would give the ability to fly. Yet get it he does, and many innocent people pay the price.

This issue depicts its conclusion in the violent and final fashion that such a set up clearly demands. Furthermore, what is great about this final chapter of The Cape (and this is a bit of a spoiler) is this talented group of gentlemen allow these characters to teach us that power, without intelligence, cannot win in the end.

To that I say “Bravo!” and give 5 well deserved POWS!!


Anatomy of A Comic Con

23 Feb

This was all originally part of Awkward Celebrity Encounters Part II, but it’s too long and too off topic…now it’s its very own Blost! (That’s right Blog+Post…do sumthin’)

Every year in August, Wizard World comes to Chicago. For those of you that don’t know, Wizard World is a comic book convention…actually it’s more a Pop Culture convention. If you’ve never been to one of these conventions you are missing out. Where else can you go to see 90210’s Steve Sanders and Jerry Lawler rub elbows with Willy Wonka’s Mike TV?

Uh….I just checked the line up for 2012 and brace yourself…….

Melissa Joan Hart & Joey Lawrence are coming!! Hurray!!!!

Clarissa the Teenage Witch!



Every year it’s pretty good, but never has it been Melissa & Joey good!!!!


There are a handful of guests that you’re always going to run into. Nicholas Brendan practically lives at these things. I’m not sure when he finds time to act as he seems to always be on the fan convention circuit.This probably pays better than a guest spot on Criminal Minds though, so no judgement , Nicky. You’ll prolly see James Marsters and you’ll always see someone from the WWE. Someone from at least one of the Star Trek franchises will be there and for the last two years there’s been at least one Monkee.With so many people at these things how are you supposed to know who’s who among the Comic Con Glitterati?? For your Edutainment I present to you:

The Four Tiers of Comic Con Celebrities

 Tier Four:

Your WWE Superstars, your television guest roles (90210’s Emily Valentine! Chick from Baywatch! Suitcase #9 from Deal Or No Deal! That One Guy From That One Show!) and your Reality “Stars”

These guys are stuck at tables either smack dab in the middle of the merchandise tables or clustered in the back of the

No deal.

convention near the bathrooms. They don’t have handlers and are generally more excited to talk to you than you are to them.  I once had to walk by the same table 15 times due to its location…you can only politely smile and nod to Johnny Fairplay so many times before you start to feel like an asshole for not saying something or giving him 8 bucks for an autograph. 

Tier 3:

Nostalgia Guests (The cast of Willy Wonka all grow’d up! Richard Roundtree! The Monkees! Pam Grier!

They sit at their tables (in slightly better locations) with a stack of glossy 8x10s and smile as you tell them how much you love them. You’ll give them $45-$65 and they’ll awkwardly but politely put their arm around you while your friend or their assistant/handler try to figure out how to take a picture with your phone.

No…press the picture of the camera… it flash??…nevermind…

Tier 2:

Legit Star Promoting Something Recent

You’ll  generally find this tier along the perimeter of the room with roped off areas for fanchildren to line up. Here you’ll find the cast of Walking Dead, True Blood, Torchwood, etc. If it’s still on or still relevant you’ll find them here. You’ll find your Buffy folk over this way too. These guys operate much like Tier 3, but there are ropes, longer lines and if you’re not there on a Friday or Saturday it’s just going to be a giant picture of their face and an empty table.

Two Xanders for the price of one.


 Tier 1:

Featured Guests

This is where the big hitters are. This is your Shatner, your Patrick Stewart and entire cast of The Next Generation, your Chris Hemsworths, Linda Hamiltons, Christopher Lloyds, Bruce Campbells, etc…

Oh Captain, My Captain

These guys are in prime location, roped off, sometimes curtained off (Carrie Fisher, I’m talking to you) you have a few hours on Saturday to get in, pay up, get it signed, and move along.


Then there’s Artist’s Alley. Spend a lot of time here folks. You might not recognize these guys’ faces but chances are you’ve seen their artwork somewhere. 100% of the artwork I’ve purchased for my home came from Artist’s Alley. It’s a goldmine of talent over there.

Found in the Alley.

Insider Tip: If you hit AA up near the end of the last day of the Con they’ll be itching to get rid of any unsold work they’d otherwise have to pack up and schlep back home. It’s a fire sale in AA on Sunday at 3pm.


IMPORTANT NOTE: This list doesn’t actually include any of the Comic Book artists and writers that you’ll find at these things. While I believe I’m qualified to categorize the Pop Culture-sphere I don’t know squat about the people that actually make comics. They belong to a tier all their own. It’s like on Glee where I know so much about the actual Glee Club, but I have no clue about the hierarchies of the Jazz Band behind them.

PICTURED: Fascinating Opportunities for Backstory

My Husband is always working at these things so I end up waiting for him next door at the hotel bar. The hotel where the cool kids are staying. The cool kids who, after a full day of signing autographs and hugging nerds, like to drink…at the hotel bar. It was in this hotel bar, after a day at Wizard World last year, where I met……

LeVar Burton!!!!!!!

To be continued…

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