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#Second City Karaoke – Competitive Karaoke?

6 May
Stop. Collaborate. And. Listen.

Stop. Collaborate. And. Listen.

I’ve signed up for Second City Karaoke – I can’t wait to tell you all about it. The seedy underbelly of Competitive Karaoke. Starts next week. There’s already drama. Shit’s gonna’ get real.

Stay tuned.

NOISY CRICKETS 4 LYFE.

 

Heartbreaking Photo Of Real Life Catfish Caught On Camera

8 May

He said he was tall, slim, held a “leadership position” at work. He said he worked in law enforcement. When they talked on the phone, he had one of those voices that just made you feel safe, loved, relaxed. He sounded like the nicest man in the world. But sometimes, he would disappear. He wouldn’t be online, wouldn’t call or return texts for weeks at a time, like clockwork every couple years, but eventually he always got back to her, saying he was really busy “helping out his friend.” When she started getting suspicious she messaged his other Facebook friends. They had nothing but nice things to say about him. Worshiped him, she noticed. She understood. She was falling in love with him too. Finally a girl claiming to be his “sister,” Jessie, contacted her and said that he was ready to meet. They’d all be in New York for his sister’s upcoming wedding, to his best friend and that she should find the time to meet….IRL. It was now or never.

When she finally met him in Times Square, she realized she’d been toyed with all along.

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#I’m Dumb – The Sparkle Pony Edition

1 Mar

My new favorite show is Portlandia. I’m sure you’ve heard of it. Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen play various people living life in Portland, OR. It’s hilarious and amazing and wonderful, but this isn’t a post about my love of Portlandia. This is a post about how I’m a moron.

So, I kinda’ wanna’ be a hipster. I aspire to be Zooey Deschanel. That guy Wilco is my favorite band. I only drink Vegan beer. (one truth, two lies.)

Anyhoo…while doing some research for a post for a friend’s blog today I stumbled upon this….

Wait...I know that girl....

Wait…I know that girl….

In season 1 of Portlandia a music fest had come to Portland, Blunderbus. Hispsters were everywhere and one sad, lonely girl with bows in her hair and a guitar case covered in stickers couldn’t get into any of the venues because everyone thought she was a weirdo. I loved her. She said she was the band Sparkle Pony. At the time I thought, “Wow…that chick is super real and funny. I wonder why I haven’t seen her do more stuff.”  Because she’s in The fucking Decemberists you idiot, that’s why. Jenny Conlee. Not an actress, but an actual muscian that, according to Wikipedia, plays every instrument on Earth. They’re on the soundtrack for The Hunger Games for Christ’s sake.

What rock have I been living under? I’ve LITERALLY heard every single one of their songs on one of my stupid Pandora hipster stations I create, but I had absolutely no clue who they were. Clearly.

You know, this isn’t acutally my fault. Back in the day I could have counted on MTV or Sound FX to show me music videos where I could put faces to names, but now all I have to rely on is Apple Commercials and Internet Radio. THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!!!

Jenny Conlee, I’m sorry I thought you were just some local Portland actress who got her big break playing a weird girl with a guitar in the fifth episode of the first season of a sketch comedy show on IFC.

"I like your bows."

I like your bows. I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were. I love you.

God I miss Sound FX.

Change is Good & #Survivor: Caramoan – The Monkey Wins

15 Feb

Hi!

Spike & I miss you. We do. We swear it.

Spike & I miss you. We do. We swear it.

It occurs to me that the reason I don’t post as often anymore is because the  majority of my entries tend to be epic, wordy blogs and lately, I just haven’t had the time to be epic and wordy.

Which sucks balls.

BUT!

Just because that’s what was (and will still be, every now and then) doesn’t mean that has to be what is. I annoy my friends and family with fascinating (imho) things everyday on the Facebook. Why not share that with you? And by “you” I mean the one person left who has forgotten to delete me from their following…maybe two. I’ve decided to steal that hashtag fella’ and use him to indicate mini-blogs….until I decide it’s lame and stop. 

My first Blip (Blog + Quip) or should it be Quog? Help me decide, will ya’?

Anyway, my first # is about the guy that’s definitely, without question going to win Survivor: Caramoan this season.

Not Pictured: “The Guy That’s Definitely Going To Win Survivor: Caramoan This Season.”

I hope he’s in every episode. I took a really crappy video of my television so that I could share this with the world.

 

You’re welcome.

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