Blog! From Blammo!

2 Apr

Sometimes my brain is teeming with blog post ideas. Sometimes it’s not.

 Recently, it’s been more often not.

 Maybe it’s due to the fact that currently, I’m preoccupied with rehearsals and line learning and trying to figure out how the hell I’m going to sing Disco Inferno and Blondie’s Maria while dressed in a burlap sack and itchy wig while looking cool and without vomiting. I’ve been an actor for 25 years and I still am overwhelmed with paranoia and nerves for the entire process leading up to opening night. One would think this would deter me from this whole “theatre thing,” but apparently I’m a masochist. I’m generally paranoid and terrified much of my day anyway, so no big.

 Since I’ve neglected my little blog here I felt oh so terrible for you, my Intermittent Readers, and felt that I must post something brilliant today to satiate you for at least 3 days until my next post.

 I Googled “blog post ideas.”

 I’m sorry, but I did. I’m grossed out that I even did this because why even write a blog if you can’t organically generate your own content. Why write if you have nothing to say? It’s not as if I’m Perez Hilton and legions of teenagers will crumble if they’re not getting a constant deluge of pictures of giant pregnant Jessica Simpson. I’m just some gal who occasionally posts mildly funny things and then repeatedly screams at her friends, “WHY AREN’T YOU READING MY BLOG?!” I love that there are a few of you out there that genuinely seem to enjoy some of my postings and I feel guilty when I can’t provide you with hilarious and timely content and it’s for you that I sunk so low as to find myself here: The Blog Post Generator

 But WAIT! SURPRISE TWIST ENDING…there is an endless sea of hilarity to be found here!!!

 All one is to do is click “Create” and then take whatever topical and thought provoking “idea” this generator generates and head back over to your blog and prepare to be Freshly Pressed.

Let’s explore:

The plot was decent, but it left me hungry for more.

James Taylor? That British band I've never heard of and only found through Google? James Cagney?

Number 1: It's not General Hospital.

This one is actually pretty good. Buffy is "one of my favorites." It's my favorite TV show, my favorite color and my favorite food. It is NOT my favorite movie.

That it's no longer on the air?

Yogurt or yoghurt (other spellings listed below; US: /ˈjoʊɡərt/, UK: /ˈjɒɡət/) is a dairy product produced by bacterial fermentation of milk."
Done.

If I used this idea, would I just put the question out there and hope my readers provide me with the information about curling I so desperately desire?

Remember when Jerry Van Dyke was the Big Lots spokesperson? That was a match made in Heaven, don't ya' think?

I don't.

You know, it's stuff like this that gets Bloggers stereotyped on TV shows like The Office.

I mean, Jerry and his Big Lots commercials I can handle, but Dick Van Dyke and his crime solving?!!? I just can't DEAL WITH THAT!!!!!

oh my.

It was at this point that I called it quits, because hitting that “create” button one too many times apparently calls forth an evil that I was not prepared for.

So that ends my adventure with a blog post generator. I will never Google “blog post ideas” ever again and I will just accept the fact that some days, I’m just going to be unable to bring the funny.

One thing that did come out of this though is the giant list of topics I will now inevitably blog about:


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7 Responses to “Blog! From Blammo!”

  1. saradraws April 3, 2012 at 6:42 pm #

    I am on tenter hooks for the Belly and Meat posts. They are not mutually exclusive.

    • CJack April 3, 2012 at 7:03 pm #

      The meat one is inevitable, but I have yet to decide if the belly one is about the 90s band or the body part.

      • saradraws April 3, 2012 at 7:19 pm #

        Wait, what? A band? How did this escape mine yes? Oh, right. I was on drugs for the duration of the 90’s.

      • CJack April 4, 2012 at 9:41 am #

        Didn’t people on drugs listen to “Feed The Tree” on a loop or something?

  2. clownonfire April 3, 2012 at 7:29 am #

    CJ,
    I do feel neglected, although you did a kick-ass, very charming, comment on my blog… But as a reader, the thirst has yet to be quenched…
    We’d like a front seat pair of tickets for both these productions, please. And plane tickets, of course.
    Le Clown

    • CJack April 3, 2012 at 8:16 am #

      Of course! Plane tickets from Montreal to Chicago are in the $20 range right?

      • clownonfire April 3, 2012 at 8:19 am #

        If we go first-class, yes.
        Le Clown

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