As my first “official” movie review here at Come On, Mr. Sunshine, we’re going to talk about Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard’s new “horror” movie, The Cabin in the Woods.
Thanks to KJack’s comic book guy connections, we got to go to an advanced screening of the movie last night, which officially premiered earlier this month at SXSW and opens wide, April 13th.
To be perfectly honest, I was all “Whateves…I’ll go see this movie ’cause it’s free…Joss wrote it so at least it might have some decent writing over whatever cliched schlocky twists and turns The Man forced them to include. It’ll probably try really hard to set us up and then get us with a ‘gotcha moment.’ There will be some laughs and then I’ll go home and be pissed that I missed Smash. It’ll be Frailty, but in hilarious Buffy-speak!”
I was wrong.
It was one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. Best. It was exactly what I wanted it to be and exactly the opposite of what the trailer makes it out to be. It was pure, piping hot, fresh out of the oven, unadulterated AWESOME! Now…onto the actual “review” portion of this movie…..
For those of you who found this post by Googling “cabin in the woods movie review” or “cabin in the woods spoilers,” I have one thing to say to you…
KNOCK. IT. THE. FUCK. OFF!!!!
Seriously, stop it.
Make this the last thing you read about the movie. End it. Search no more. Lay off. Let it go. Forget it. Resist the urge to look any further into this matter and go back to using the interwebs for porn.
There is only one thing you need to worry yourself with and it’s this…
Unless you’re a child….because it’s rated R and it’s full of blood and a little bit of boobs and the fuck word….
…you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog either, by the way.