Pop Quiz, Asshole…

10 Mar

When I'm feeling all angry-like, I hold the phone just like this too.

What do you do when you have zero dollars,

Your Husband is off playing RPG’s with a bunch o’ nerds,

You kinda’ feel like shit and have no motivation to do anything with your day?

You lay in bed and sleep on and off for 12 hours straight, waking up every so often to notice that time doesn’t seem to be passing because Speed is still on, which means you’ve only been asleep for, like, 20 minutes (in actuality AMC played Speed 7 times today. What. The. Hell?) so you might as well go back to sleep because Jeff Daniels hasn’t even been blown up yet.

Don't mind me, I'm just sittin' here bein' adorable.

Can I talk about J.D. for just a sec?

I love him. Plain and simple as that, I love him.

Let’s take a brief look at some of his movies, shall we? Except for Speed.

Fuck Speed.

Arachnophobia (1990)

He’s Dr. Ross Jennings, a small town doctor, father and husband. He’s completely precious in every way and gosh darnit! Why can’t the old fuddy-duddies in this town realize he’s on to something with this whole “spider thing” dammit?!?!

They should have listened to him sooner.

Also, notable for John Goodman’s performance as Delbert.

Also, notable again, because I remember when we saw it in the movie theatre my Dad left right as the spider shit started to hit the fan and went to go watch (I think) Die Hard 2 in the instead.

A “thrillomedy?” Really?!?! That’s badass, why have I never heard that word before!??! Apparently, this term refers only to Arachnophobia, Reaper & Chuck. Huh, who knew?

Pleasantville (1998)

I will cry every single time I watch this movie. This time our Jeff goes totally against type and plays the adorable, understanding, sweet diner owner, Bill Johnson. Oh, wait…nope, that’s totally his type and I love it. He likes to paint and love Joan Allen from afar while suffering silently as the mean old fuddy-duddies in the town throw trashcans through his window. They’re mean and he’s awesome. Tears. Every. Single. Time.

I do love a movie where you get sucked into the TV.

Paper Man (2009)

Fantastic movie!! FANTASTIC!! Mildly depressing, but fantastic. J.D. is Richard Dunn, adorable, misunderstood struggling writer. He’s married to Lisa Kudrow, but not quirky, lovable, Phoebe-Lisa-Kudrow, more like the Phoebe in the alternate universe of that one Friends episode where Monica was still fat.

Anyhoo…he meets Emma Stone and the two become besties. He has an imaginary friend that’s a superhero (played by that Ryan Reynolds fella’ from the hit show Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place.) Eventually, their friendship is misunderstood by his stupid fuddy-duddy wife and his house is trashed by mean fuddy-duddy teenagers, but he hangs in there and never stops being adorable. I called the “surprise twist ending” about half-way through, but guessing movie endings is my superpower. I highly suggest you watch this. If only to watch the movie where Emma Stone and Kieran Culkin fell in love.

It’s good, ya’ll. For reals.

Now to watch some Game of Thrones and maybe take a nap before watching creepy Skinny-Jonah-Hill on SNL.

Let’s bring this full circle and watch J.D. on SNL.

Enjoy your commercial, then enjoy the adorable.


11 Responses to “Pop Quiz, Asshole…”

  1. DeeDee March 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm #

    You should know that Jeff is a great singer-songwriter and awesome playwright. He rolls his eyes about the Jeff Bridges thing, by the way.

    Don’t believe me about the music? All you need to hear is “If William Shatner Can, I Can Too.” The rest of the album has some other great tracks – both hilarious and tearjerkers. Even more fun if you’re a Michigander, but not everyone is so lucky.

    Jeff is also an awesome human being. I was lucky enough to work with him when he wasn’t filming and get some of his season tickets for the Detroit Tigers when he was on the road.

    • CJack March 16, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

      That’s awesome! I knew he sang, but I hadn’t heard of that album (great title by the way). I love him and now I love him even more. Thanks DeeDee!

      • DeeDee March 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

        It’s easier to love someone who demonstrates that they’re genuine – the music really does that for me. 🙂

      • CJack March 16, 2012 at 5:29 pm #

        I will definitely have to check out this album!

  2. saradraws March 11, 2012 at 1:50 pm #

    For a minute I was all like “Hey, that’s not Jeff Daniels” then I realized I was thinking of Jeff Bridges because my brain is dumb and easily confused.
    An alternative answer to your Pop Quiz is to see how much cat hair you can get off of the rug with only your hands. Super funsies.

    • CJack March 11, 2012 at 2:54 pm #

      When I started writing it, I couldn’t think of his last name because all I could focus on was Jeff Bridges’ name instead. So i’m right there with ya, sister.
      Also, http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1594745250

      • saradraws March 11, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

        I now have a purpose in life. Thank you.

  3. Busterloverdaddy March 11, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    JD hosts a filmfest in Traverse City every summer, august I think. Could be a fun road trip.

  4. clownonfire March 11, 2012 at 8:14 am #

    I have always seen Jeff Daniels as the “soft” version of Bill Pullman.
    Today, he’s been replaced by Jason Segel.

    • CJack March 11, 2012 at 11:52 am #

      I can see that….my head would explode of they were all three in a movie together because I love all of the versions of Jeff Daniels!

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